A mother called me to ask me to talk to their child because the child was suspended from school. I got overly and bitterly angry immediately. Not with the parent or child, but with the school system - the old time Educational System that DOESN'T CARE AT ALL ABOUT YOUTH. Send home a child to do what? Read through my thinking below.
Corporal Abuse, Shouting and School Suspension Isn't Working At All across our Caribbean! We must either restructure how it is administered or we must get them ABOLISHED in schools immediately. I know my Bible Beliefs will come into question now by those critics who anxiously wait for me to say or do or write something wrong.
Thus, let me be clear. Dare 2 Be Different still believes firmly with the words penned in:
Proverbs 22:15 ¶ Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
What our ministry is fully against is teachers and head teachers and parents punishing children without first giving them a talk or having them visit the school's counselor or another qualified person in this area and then administer the lashes as a Final and Stern Warning.
I beg you pardon? Waste of time? Certainly not! Many children take the lashes and it means nothing to them. A little talk before, would definitely go a long way. I got lashes two times in my school career. Once at the Dr. William Connor Primary School and another time at The Verchilds High School with a group of students for something I didn't do. I'll write about the experiences in the near future and you'll probably get to calculate who the headteachers were. Innocent Paying For The Guilty in Schools has got to Stop and Dare 2 Be Different is putting an end to it across the Caribbean and Globe. Watch and See.
After those lashes, I actively resisted at both primary and high school level. I never entered another competition again. I ensured I never brought home another medal or trophy or prize money again for me or the school. Right is Right and Wrong is Wrong. I never entered a school competition in all my life and never placed. So when they asked me to enter, I declined. I am a gifted speaker and always did exceptionally well. When they asked me to enter elocution contests or another debate. I declined too. When they nominated me as anything - I declined. So, it was definitely a blow for the schools. My response when they asked. "I want to focus on my school work." I wouldn't have mind at all, if I was punished for something I did. Don't get me wrong. So students, this is how you actively and passively rebel - let your voices be heard by not being DISRESPECTFUL. Dare 2 Be Different is right in your corner.
Let me tell you how my mother, Mrs. Yvette Wallace, M.Ed. (a teacher for 20 years, head teacher for 10 and Education Officer for 5) punished all of her children and her only grandchild. She never threw us a slap in our face or punched us on the shoulder or belly. Mommy NEVER abused us. She always used her hand or a belt and carefully ensured that our skin would never be marked. All of us RARELY got lashes, but there is something that I want to note here for all of us to learn.
Let's listen: When ever my mother was about to punish any of her four boys, she would ensure that she talked to us and counselled us before. She went in depth into why our actions were wrong, what our actions could lead to in the future if she didn't stop it there and then she would make us repeat Proverbs 22:15 ¶ Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Therefore, we know Proverbs 22:15 better than John 3:16. Usually, even before mommy lashed us, we were already crying for the heinous childlike crimes we had committed. I could remember peeping into mommy's bedroom or should I say counselling centre several times when she was about to punish my other brothers and I ended up feeling so sorry for them that I too joined with the crying. We didn't cry for mommy's lashes, we cried because we finally understood how our actions would have affected our future and how much mommy cared and loved us.
Children - Youth - Do your parents or teachers do this? Or is my mother rare? Many Teachers, Headteachers, Parents, Relatives and Guardians are not using corporal punishment as it should be used. I think we should give it a 21st century name - ABUSE PUNISHMENT WITHOUT NO PRIOR CAUTIONARY TALK OR ADVICE. How does that sound?
Dare 2 Be Different believes that a little talk before lashes could make the biggest difference! Now to the shouting and verbal abuse at home and at school. This is becoming overbearing. Sometimes all children and youth need is a little attention, love and support. A hug would sometimes do much better than an overly loud bellow.
While teaching computer class to a group of new 4 - 6 year old children sometime back at www.thecompudoctors.com, one particular 6 year old would begin hitting the keyboard to get attention when ever she wasn't getting through. It was loud, annoying and very frightening and distracting to the other children. I could have stayed from the other side of the room and shouted - "STOP IT! STOP IT! WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?"
I didn't, I immediately said to myself that that child doesn't get the attention at home. I walked over, hugged the little girl, reminded her that my name was Khrystus and when she needs help, she can put up her hand or just come over and look for me. She smiled and gave me a big hug and she now does that every time. I didn't hit her or shout at her or SUSPEND her. I showed her LOVE.
When the mother came back for her after the hour session, we had another case to deal with. The little 6 year old didn't want to leave brother Khrystus. I took the opportunity to inform the mother of what was missing in her life. So during her tenure, she was always with me for hours after her Saturday class had ended. Even when adult classes started, she was there. Never causing any trouble, but just looking for love. A few Saturdays ago, she came to the class very sick and I inquired of the mother as to why and I asked the child too. She said, today is Saturday and she must spend the day with Brother Khrystus. She didn't take mommy's medicine - she took my homemade bush remedies passed down to me from my mother. At the end of the Saturday, she was a little more bubbly when her vehicle came to pick her up. I honestly didn't want my good bye hug because she was sick, but children are persistent.
She doesn't wants mommy's snacks, she wants me to prepare something or buy something for her out of my money - not mommy's. (Is Daddy Missing?). She doesn't want the help of other teachers, she sticks around me. If she can't find me, she ventures upstairs where I live and where she knows where my mother is, to get help. She looks for the people who seemingly can protect her, love her and look out for her. AT 6.
If I go to her school, I walk avoid passing her class because she'll run out and hug me in the middle of a lesson. The other day, I saw her one time in a moving vehicle, she stuck half her body outside the window just to shout Brother Khrystus. I was never so afraid in my life. What would headlines have read? "Child Drops Out Vehicle and Dies Shouting To Brother Khrystus" Lord, please help that never to happen.
All that was missing in that child's life is LOVE.
I think the Caribbean needs a University of Love. We should send teachers to it after teacher's college. This would better equip them with how to deal with children and youth before they go hands on. If we don't get it, each Global Teacher's College should introduce a course called LOVE 101 and hire my mother to teach them all.
Dare 2 Be Different International - www.d2bdifferent.com recommends that all our Young People need many times is a bit more of LOVE.
Finally, my ministry is fully against School Suspension in the Caribbean and it needs to be reviewed immediately. Why? This is why. Many of our Caribbean countries do not have a correctional facility in place where these suspended children can occupy their time during the periods of 1 week to 3 or 4 weeks of off time.
When ever anyone around St. Kitts-Nevis, The Caribbean or The World ask to join our ministry to help, my first question, after I confirm that they are saved, is usually - WHAT ARE YOU GOOD AT? WHAT ARE YOUR TALENTS?
Thus, when we got a pollster to join our network, I immediately commissioned the individual several months ago to survey students who've been suspended from school recently or anytime in their life and see if it either had a positive or negative impact on them. This isn't the time to go through the findings. I don't even think I'll ever share them. Too SHOCKING! I will use them internally for our Dare 2 Be Different Development and program implementation or in my writings as proof. If we have to take this matter to COURT to get School Suspension abolished in countries where there is NO CORRECTIONAL FACILITY for students suspended to attend while on leave, - WE WILL. We are already networking with lawyers to do it very soon if our Caribbean Education System doesn't listen to us.
To summarize a bit of the data though, from the Caribbean Sample file, over 70% of the boys who got suspended in the Caribbean got involved in drugs or gangs because there wasn't anything to do during the suspension time and most parents went to work.
With our females, Over 85% of these young teens got involved in Sex and Youth-Adult relationships as they were bored at home and in search of company. One St. Kitts - Nevis female student that was suspended sometime back told me. "Brother Khrystus, when I got suspended for two weeks, I met the man of my dreams. I ensured my mom went to work, then I called him. He got me what ever I wanted and I always found a way to disappear out the house without anyone seeing and reappear before mommy or anyone ever noticed. We had sex every weekday that I was suspended and I can't stop and will never stop having SEX. It's SWEET and he does it WELL. I love him, he loves me and looks after me better than any of my friend's boyfriends and nobody knows about it. Thank God for suspension!"
Now tell me? Who caused that? Isn't it the Educational System? Who gave such a high percentage of suspended boys a chance to get involved in drugs and gangs? Think and answer for yourselves.
Dare 2 Be Different isn't waiting for government to intervene or school counselors to draft a proposal for a centre, because that should have been done over 20 years ago if they really cared that much about Youth. We're doing it ourselves. Students, when schools suspend you, call Dare 2 Be Different. Parents, when they suspend your children, call Dare 2 Be Different from anywhere around the Caribbean and The World.
Feel free to SEND YOUR SUSPENDED YOUTH to Dare 2 Be Different International. Give them a Vacation to come to St. Kitts by my organization. I am making this statement in faith. My home based business and ministry may never be able to accommodate them all right now, but WE WILL MAKE THEM ALL FIT.
God never lets his work go uncared for. I believe that He is allowing the appropriate person to read this article and donate the funds to buy land and construct a centre for me to accommodate them while Headteachers and Schools carelessly kick out students among the wolves for a while ALL IN THE NAME OF DISCIPLINE. (How Foolhardy!)
When you come by us and we can verify that you've been suspended and not just want to miss school to come by us, we'll teach you the subjects that you're missing out on for free. Not only that, we'll teach you a skill, t-shirt printing, screen printing, embroidery, website design, art and craft, cooking, cake decorating, floral arranging, sewing, agro-processing, entrepreneurship etc.
The ambitious ones will leave with a Business and would Bless God that some headteacher or teacher on the management team kicked them out for a while. Next time you get suspended - SHOUT HALLELUJAH - then Email: firstname.lastname@example.org // BB PIN: 220067D8 or WhatsApp or Call: 869-663-0114.
Dare 2 Be Different will make the suspension the best time you ever had in your life. WE PROMISE! We'll talk to you and counsel you - I'll let my mother help me with that to ensure you don't make the same mistakes again. We'll help you with your school work and ensure you get a skill. You'll also get to use our computer lab for free, browse face book and the Internet and play games, work with Dare 2 Be Different - www.d2bdifferent.com doing good or with KVK - www.kvkenterprises.com printing or shipping or something. We show you how it feels to be LOVED and APPRECIATED.
Students - I'm going to personally ensure that after 1 or 2 weeks with us, you'll never want to return to the school the kicked you out of for 2 weeks calling it Discipline.
Then, as we share with the world pictures, videos and comments via Social Media, how much fun SUSPENDED STUDENTS are having with Dare 2 Be Different International, as they study, learn a skill, learn to open their own businesses and learn about the technology, I'm afraid that dozens of students across the Caribbean and world will start doing things to be suspended for just to come and chill with us AS WE HELP THEM IN LOVE. (Something schools are failing to do). This would then get the response from Ministry of Educations around the Caribbean - if Children are doing anything and everything to get suspended just to go where LOVE is. We would never STOP IT until everything is PERFECTLY in place to care for our YOUTH.
We're accepting immediately - if you're suspended or have a child that is, Contact us today - we'll counsel them, work with them in LOVE and bring them back around. We actually have a couple in Maryland, USA that urgently wants to buy craft or work that our Dare 2 Be Different Youth Produce, so they may be able to start making a living while SUSPENDED. Imagine you can start making MONEY while you are suspended? Which youth won't want to be suspended? I would - simply because I know Dare 2 Be Different would be caring for me.
Now this is what JESUS would have done - NOT WRITE OFF CHILDREN and Youth and show them no love.
Always remember, Dare 2 Be Different NEVER marches, we just use our God Given Wisdom and the power of technology to make our impact. As I type, I'm seeing that we may seriously have to get into the school business soon - BIG TIME and FULL TIME. We'll be the school with the difference - the school that SHOWS AND GIVES LOVE to our youth instead of belittling them and casting them away in the name of discipline.
Check to see if your child that was suspended this school year is now sexually active or a lover of ganger or weed. Send me a note - I'll keep it personal. But then again, your children rarely talk to you, they talk to Brother Khrystus anytime, every time because they have a Youth-Adult that they can confide in.
I've stopped answering many questions publicly on www.askbrotherkhrystus.com for a while, because your children and youth are now asking very, very sensitive questions. Many of them are hurting badly too. Thus, I beg of you, stop minding the business of others and get intrinsically involved in the lives of your children from TONIGHT - I BEG.
I can't tell you, because I always promise many of them that I won't unless they give me the OK to fight the cases. What I do though, is to guide them on how to try and build a relationship with parents and teachers so they can share some of the HURT and let it get Police and Legal attention. Sadly, many of them come back to me with the same stories time and time again. Mommy is too busy and Daddy is seldom at home and I don't know which teacher to trust. They may probably discuss my personal issue in the staff room, so just let me talk to you brother Khrystus - you help me alot - you are like a daddy to me.
Over the last 10 years in ministry, I've listened to the stories of boys who've been sexually molested and girls raped by family members and mother's boyfriends. Some are now working and are not HAPPY. Their paycheck means nothing to them because they live with the scars of abuse and see their abusers walk free everyday because you - Mommy - Daddy were too busy at work, at church or with friends. Talk with your children. Find time for them.
LOVE will help to heal many things that corporal punishment, shouting and suspension would never do.
Corporal Abuse, Shouting and School Suspension Isn't Working At All
Just tonight, a client of mine that receives my emails and came to do some business commented. "Khrystus, people not going to like you because you talking out you know. Many people going to agree silently with you and never tell you anything because they are afraid for you and don't want to be labelled with you although they support you. How many people honestly tell you you're doing a good job? I smiled because that is a very rare comment even though hundreds of people get our messages. Imagine, in a democratic society, my client's words to me were - BECAREFUL. Are we really FREE then?
So. . .I guess God forbid I end up like Martin Luther King Jr. for speaking out, that means we are still mentally enslaved and the system still works to keep the Truth from coming out. How sad.
Khrytus Wallace, President, Youth Advocate
Dare 2 Be Different International